by: Yvette Valdenegro
At the core of human interaction is a need to relate and communicate. This instinct of interacting with another person or thing is what we call relationships. We can have casual relationships, such as one's with co-workers, people we interact with less frequently or say even our mobile phones. Now that I have your attention, once you see how, you will give yourself a little giggle the next time your phone rings; it interrupts you, and you see the words' possible spam'. We also obviously have our closest, more intimate relationships with our significant others, children, families, work, careers, business, and, yes again, our phones.
Our relationships can be described more elaborately by looking into the word's actual meaning. We define relationships by which two things CONNECT, the BEHAVIOR toward each other and the EMOTION you have toward a person or thing.
Whether you have said it to yourself, a friend, or heard it in a movie, 'we have such a CONNECTION' is a cliche we dislike hearing but secretly want to feel. Science tells us that social connection is a fundamental human need. We have learned, more importantly, that it keeps us happier and healthier amid a crisis. We desire to have this connection as it provides a sense of security. In our close relationships, we feel an attachment and bond, even tethered to another. I dare say that most entrepreneurs have these same feelings toward their businesses, work, and careers. They have the excitement and lofty feelings of a connection to another or thing that gives us a sense of attachment.
We measure how our relationships are doing based on BEHAVIORS we have toward those relationships. How are we acting? Have we formed habits around the relationship? How much effort is given or taken in the relationship? We do this with our human relationships and relationships with things, business, work, and careers. Suppose you went to work today, seemed disconnected, procrastinated, and missed scheduled meetings. In that case, I'd say you don't have a healthy relationship with your work. Suppose the opposite occurred, and you engaged with others, finished your tasks on time, and looked forward to meetings. In that case, I'd say your outlook on work is healthier.
For some reason, we teach each other to stay away from EMOTIONS. However, we believe emotions are something you can not escape. Our emotions come from a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from our circumstances. You are already naturally hard-wired to have emotions, and these emotions originate from your life circumstances. Life happens, and emotions happen. In turn, this can set and create your mood. These feelings are also intuitive, which means they arise from reasoning and knowledge. Your reason and knowledge can only come from the past. You have emotion because it is attached to your history and experience. Emotions also give us the feeling of sensation, a response, or a reaction.
All three words, CONNECT, BEHAVIOR, and EMOTION, give a more profound, more precise description of the meaning behind relationships. We are constantly connecting, behaving, and emoting toward our relationships. These three pertain to our close human relationships and the more abstract relationships with our business, work, and careers. Remember what we said about our mobile devices? Now that we have described how we connect, behave, and emote, we have a relationship with our phones. We are attached to them, have a bond, have formed daily routines and habits, put in lots of effort to keep up with them, and have good or bad thoughts about them. We can even say these thoughts come from a history of interaction with them. We can form sensations when notifications sound and respond to them in habitual unconscious behaviors. We program our phones when we purchase them to interact with us how we feel best suits our needs. The notifications, sounds, emails, texts, wallpapers, Siri, Bixby, and social media content make us respond, behave, and connect. The next time you are in a public setting, watch how tethered and bonded people are with their phones.
There is strength, growth, and intuitive interaction in healthy relationships. Wanting more, desiring a deeper connection, and feeling like you are in a secure place with your closest relationships are natural. Follow your instincts to discover more effective ways to promote your good health. If you feel like you are spinning in circles, haven't found anything that is consistently working for you, or are beyond frustrated, please take the time to reach out to us. Taking the first step toward having solid relationships is a substantial investment in you and the best way to change the relationships in which you invest.
YGC Relationship Coaches:
Yvette Valdenegro
Geovanna Burgess White
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